The Greatest Blog Entry Evah!

Howdy folks. Steve Elder here. I have the privilege of updating you on my bride's condition after having her brain tumor resected.

But before I continue, I should give my wife credit for teaching me something. I said to her today, "Babylove, why do the doctors say they had to 'resect' your tumor instead of just 'remove' it?"

She opened her saggy eyes and looked up at me from her hospital bed, morphine and vicodin oozing from every pore, and slowly formed her lips to say, "Well, disect means to take something apart and leave it apart; resect means to take something apart and put it back together."

And then I think I heard her murmur something about "idiot" and "let me sleep" or something like that.

Anyways, so I said, "Oh, that makes sense. What doesn't make sense is that you just had an electric saw cut your skull open yet you can still recite SAT definitions." Katie is remarkable.

Let me give you a little timeline of her remarkable day.

This is Katie just before being wheeled into the OR.

Only Katie could pull off looking this sexy in a shower cap.

Her surgery began about 8:00am and was over about 9:15am. I know this because when I emerged from the waiting room bathroom family and friends told me that I had just missed the surgeon explain how the surgery went.

Dangit! Yes, that's what I said ... or something kinda like that. I couldn't believe that for one of THE most anticipated moments of my LIFE I was in the bathroom. I wondered if I was on candid camera or trapped in a Seinfeld episode.

Luckily the surgeon came out to the waiting room moments later and forced everyone to stop laughing and pointing at me.

He told me he biopsied her tumor in the OR and it was benign. It was a meningioma (benign) just like he thought. He said she'd be in recovery for about 2 more hours and that I could see her when they moved her to her hospital room. He said she wouldn't need to spend any time in intensive care and that she might be able to go home in 2 days.

I felt like crying.

This whole experience, coupled with her bacterial meningitis ordeal a few weeks ago, had my emotions percolating and they almost bubbled over when I heard this GREAT news.

When I was finally able to see her she looked like this. The time was now about 1:15PM and I hadn't seen her since 7:30AM. When I walked into her room she opened her eyes and groggily said, "Heeyyy, what a nice surprise to wake up to you."

I know what you're thinking... she obviously was still heavily medicated. True, but what she said will forever be etched in my memory as one of my most favoritest moments.

As she faded in and out of sleep, her only complaint was the extreme pain she felt in the right side of her face where they sliced through her chewing muscle when they cut open her scalp. I've got to find out what that muscle is called because I feel silly calling it her chewing muscle.

Her nurse gave her morphine for the pain but it didn't do squat. Then the nurse gave her vicodin and that seemed to help.
She had these crazy things on both her legs called Alternating Leg Pressure thingys. They keep the blood circulating and help prevent blood clots. They're like blood pressure arm bands but for the legs. My first thought when I saw them was, "No wonder Katie insisted on getting a pedicure before her surgery... she knew I'd be publishing photos of her feet."

I left her that night to go home to the kids. When I opened the garage door for a split second I thought I was in Costco. There were so many food items stacked around the garage from the wonderful, loving, caring, generous people we work with at Rowland High School. I stood there for a minute and looked at all the time and energy that went into buying us this food. And I also made a mental note of who had not given us anything. They might be sorry, nay, verily verily, they shall be sorry.

When I left work early today, er, I mean when I left work on time just like I always do and have done for the last 17 years, I drove to see Katie and this is what she looked like.

When I walked into her room she looked up at me with blood-shot eyes and said, "Daaaang Elder, this medicinral... medricinal, this medicinal mari-ju-wana is the SHIZZAZ!"

I said, "Stop hogging it all ya greedy woman and give me a hit, I've had a hard day too." It was only then that I realized she was pulling my leg. What she was actually doing was exercising her lungs. She has to suck air from this tube 10 times every hour. I forget why. But I know it's important that she suck and not blow.

A little later in the day she looked like this. Could she be any more adorable in her pink Yankees hat? I think not.

I know she looks a little stoned, but seriously, she wasn't really smoking anything in the previous picture. I think this look she's got going on here can be best described as "Ring the nurse for more vicamordinphine."

Katie has a hate-love relationship with vicodin. It relives her pain but makes her sick to her stomach. She spent the night after her surgery throwing up. All night. Until 5 in the morning.

She said to me, "Have you ever tried to vomit with a 3-inch hole in your skull and a zillion staples in your scalp? It hurts!"

She says she feels crunchiness in her head. It must be from the staples rubbing against her scalp.

I've never felt more helpless and powerless in my life than during the last few months. I would give anything, ANYTHING, to stop Katie's suffering.

Besides being in pain, Katie has to be woken up every hour because she had surgery on her brain. Each hour she's given a test, a test for her 12 cranial nerves. Did you know you have 12 cranial nerves? I mean, I knew this, but did you?

She has to touch her nose and then touch the nurse's finger, she has to follow with her eyes the nurse's fingers, she has to push her feet against the nurse's hands, etc...

It kinda looks like she's being pulled over for a DUI. I mean, not that I know what that looks like. I'm just imagining.

Today her kids came to visit her. Zack and Lizzy. I know this boosted her spirits because she's so in love with her kids. And they're good kids too. They are my step-kids and I only beat them when they truly deserve it. But I beat them out of love.

Katie is such a good mom. I only hope my own 2 children are as close to me and as open with me as Katie's kids are with her.

After Zack and Lizzy left, Katie's surgeon paid her a visit. He removed her doo-rag and this is what it looked like.

I couldn't believe how little hair was shaved off. This surgeon, Dr. Behnam Badie, is a super genius if you ask me.

Katie did a lot of research online and she met a lot of brain tumor patients in chat rooms who had doctors who were unsympathetic to cosmetic worries such as hair loss.

Besides being ultra-skilled at his craft, Katie's doctor is one of the most caring, empathetic doctors we've ever known.

Katie's pain is supposed to subside in another day or two. If she can eat and walk, and not feel too much pain, and not feel nauseous she gets to come home on Thursday.

I can't wait!

Let me flashback to the day of her surgery.

I was in the waiting room when I was visited by Gail, a neighbor of mine when I lived in Pasadena before Katie and I were married. Gail works at City of Hope and helped us get our first appointment to the hospital.

It was sooooo comforting knowing a friend of ours worked at COH. When I was introducing Gail to Katie's mom Gail said, "Katie lights up a room when she walks in it."

Then she looked at me and said, "I know she lights up Steve."

Oh man, those percolating emotions pounced on me for some reason and I had to fight hard not to burst into tears. My lip started quivering and my eyes started getting misty.

I guess Gail's right because Katie does light up me.

But it's even more than that.

Katie IS me. I mean, I wouldn't be who I am today without Katie.

She taught me who I am and how to be who I am.

When Katie and I met we discovered that we are each others anam cara. Anam cara means soul friend. Someone who always accepts you as you truly are, holding you in beauty and light.

Katie often says the two of us were scooped up, molded and formed out of the same handful of dirt. That we're connected. Soul friends. Anam caras.

I think she's right because she always views the worst parts of me as if they were beauty and light. And I'm the farthest thing from that.

But not to Katie, my soul friend.

I need my anam cara to come home.

Because she truly is beauty and light to me.

And I love her so much with my whole heart.